This isn't going to be much of a birth story, since I had a c-section.  Let's face it, even when it's completely necessary (which I've no doubt mine was), most things about a surgical birth just kinda... suck, and I'm not interested in writing all the details.  So...

I started having contractions Friday evening.  They weren't terribly strong or even all that regular, but they were definitely different.  We decided to go ahead and take the kids over to Mom and Dad's, just in case.  Around 10pm or so, I was sure that I was in labor, so I called Abby (one of my midwives).  I could tell from poking around my abdomen that Pixie was still breech.  After some discussion, we decided it would probably be best to just head on to the hospital, and she and Kelly (the other midwife) would meet us there.

A little backstory on how we decided the hospital would be best... the day before, at my 39w appointment, I was 4cm dilated, and Pixie was still breech.  After a lot of thought and discussion with Abby, we decided that with me being as far along as I was, attempting a breech birth at home was probably just too risky.  We had no idea how big the babies were, and although it was still possible that Pixie could turn once I went into labor, we all felt that the best place for me to be was in the hospital.  If I got there and the ultrasound showed that she had turned, great... off to a birthing room we go.  If she hadn't, than surgery it would be.

Sidenote: Yes, I know that breech birth in the hospital can be a safe option.  However, the safety hinges on having an attendant who is a) willing and b) experienced and skilled with breech births.  I had neither.

We got to the hospital around 11:30pm.  Checked in, went back to triage, and the OB on duty came to do an ultrasound.  Sure enough - Pixie had her butt right above my pelvis, and didn't show any signs of budging.  A cervical check showed me to be about 6cm dilated.  It was time to get moving.

-Insert lots of icky stuff in preparation for surgery here-

We got into the OR at 1:40am, Reagan (Pixie) and Sera (Dixie) were born at 1:59am and 2:00am respectively, and I was headed back to recovery at 2:30am.  Thanks to a digital camera, Lee was able to film the birth while pretending he was just taking pictures.  If you're interested, you can see the video here:  Reagan & Sera's Birth.  It's surgery, so yes... it's bloody.  Don't watch while eating lunch, or if you have a weak stomach.

There are three things that helped me be ok with having a c/s:

1) I went into labor.  I can't begin to describe the difference that made to me.  If anyone faces a necessary surgical birth, I highly recommend waiting until you go into labor, if at all possible, rather than scheduling it.

2) Abby and Kelly were at the hospital with me.  Their calm reassurance that I was doing the right thing was wonderful.

3) I basically demanded that the babies come to the recovery room with me, assuming they had no immediate medical issues.  Of all the things I pushed back on that night, I pushed the hardest on this one, and won ("hospital policy" is that all c/s babies go immediately to the nursery for observation for at least an hour).  Being able to bond with them and nurse them immediately was HUGE.  I will never forget Reagan latching on for the first time... I don't think I've ever seen a brand new baby latch so enthusiastically!

The one thing I wish I had pushed harder on was having Lee with me during the prep for the surgery.  They wouldn't let him come in until the surgery started, and I think having him there for all the icky stuff prior to the surgery would have helped a lot.

Overall, I'd say my hospital stay was a good one.  The nurses were all very nice, and most of them were genuinely impressed with how quickly I was recovering and adapting to nursing two babies.  One of the night nurses told me, "Most of my moms with ONE baby are freaking out about nursing - I just can't believe how great you're doing and how calm you are with two of them!"

A few things I'm glad I either learned from friends who've been there, or figured out on my own:

- DEMAND that healthy babies come to recovery with you.  This is so incredibly important for bonding and the start of breastfeeding.  I can not imagine how miserable I would have been, sitting in recovery for two hours without my babies. 

- The nurses are not trying to torture you when the come to get you up and moving.  It's essential for a quick recovery.  Don't overdo it, but definitely get up as soon as possible, and continue to get out of bed frequently.

- Bring your own comfy pajamas, and shower and change as soon as possible.  You will feel worlds better once you're clean and in your own clothes.

- Bring (or ask for) several extra pillows for nursing.  The most comfortable position in which to nurse is the football hold, and it's hard to do without supportive pillows.  A Boppy is out of the question for the first few weeks - you won't want anything across your belly.

- Anyone who's given birth in a hospital has laughed at the disposable net underwear they give you.  TAKE HOME AS MANY PAIRS AS POSSIBLE!  Unless you normally wear gigantic, stretchy underwear, most of your usual underwear will continue to be uncomfortable for awhile (truth be told, mine still is!)

- Take your pain meds on schedule.  If you wait until you're in full-blown pain to take them, you'll be behind the curve, and wind up taking more meds in the long run.  I talked to my nurses, and they helped me find a schedule that kept me as comfortable as possible while still being alert enough to care for and interact with my babies.


So... that's my birth story, of sorts.  Although I am sad that I didn't get to have the birth I wanted, I have no doubts that this is what was best for me and the babies.  I know there are many women who are bitter and angry about their surgical births, and I'm incredibly thankful that I don't feel that way.  I do think that waiting until I went into labor made all the difference for me, along with standing up for myself, having a doctor I trust, and having all the right support people with me.

First of all, the ice and I are decidedly NOT friends.  I slipped and fell for the second time in as many weeks, on the way into the doctor's office, no less!  I'm seriously considering locking myself in the house until the weather is consistently 50 degrees or above.

The babies look great... they're both head down right now (that doesn't mean much at 21w for a singleton, but when there's two in there, they already have less room to move around, so good chance they'll stay that way).  Sexes are confirmed... definitely the same as what was under the cut in my last post.  :-D

And finally... these babies will NOT be born in the hospital, barring pre-term labor (before 35 weeks) or some other true emergency situation.  Otherwise, HELL no.  Wanna know why?  Lemme fill you in a little conversation I had with my OB this morning...

(To note, this was not with my primary OB, Dr. J.  I'm now officially being tag-teamed by him and Dr. R., the practice's "high risk" doctor.  This conversation was between me and Dr. R.)

So we look at the babies and my cervix on the ultrasound, and everything looks great.  He actually described my cervix as "just fantastic," which I gotta say... it's a little weird, but whatever.  He finishes up the exam, sits on the stool and says, "So, what else to you want to talk about?"  Since he appears to be in no hurry, I decide to dive in.  "Well, I was hoping you could tell me a little bit about what the births will look like... I've had easy labors and births historically, and certainly have never been classified as high-risk.  This is all new, and I'm not real big on interventions."

Him: "Well, when you get to the hospital, we'll do the usual things... start the IV, get the monitors hooked up, etc."
Me: "What's the IV for?"
Him: "To give you fluids, since you won't be able to eat or drink, and so that we can administer pitocin to make sure your labor progresses."
Me: "Ok" (I decided I wasn't going to argue anything at this point, because I wanted to just gather as much information as I could)
Him: "Of course, you can almost never get a good read on external monitors with twins, so we'll do an internal monitor on Baby A."
Me: "So, I'll be confined to the bed?"
Him: "Well, you'll probably be able to get into a chair, but yeah - that's pretty much it.  And I don't know if you've had epidurals with your other babies..."
Me: "I did with Jonny - I'll never do it again."
Him: "You're going to have to this time around."
Me: "Why?"
Him: "Well, your babies are both head-down, and assuming they stay that way, you can certainly try to deliver them vaginally, but even if you manage to get the first one out, a lot can happen between delivering Baby A and Baby B.  It's incredibly likely that Baby B will have to be delivered by C-Section, and if you haven't had an epidural, there's no choice but to put you to sleep for the surgery."
Me: dumbfounded, blank stare
Him: "Look, there's really just a whole host of things that can go wrong, and we have to be prepared for all of them..."

He said a bunch more stuff, but I had all but tuned him out at that point, and was trying hard not to cry.  On the other hand, it was all just so CLASSIC "birth is scary, and you don't know what you're doing, and I'm the expert" OB bullshit that I wish I'd recorded to play it back for anyone I could get to listen.

So yeah - no way in HELL I'm walking into a hospital to birth these babies if they're full-term (or close enough to count).  Yes, here, let me walk right into your gauntlet of interventions that will all but guarantee that these babies will have the worst possible entry into this world, possibly put them at serious risk, and ensure that  I'll have a horrific recovery.  Please, I'm all about that!

Fuck the machine that goes PING!

I called Lee as soon as I left the office, nearly sobbing I was so upset.  He responded perfectly... "Baby, settle down.  We can do whatever you want."  He may be a total shit along the way, but he always comes through.  :)

Of course, he followed that with, "When exactly did you become Grizzly Adams?" and something about giving birth out back in the woods.  Yes, no serious conversation can be had without a little ribbing, but that's ok.

So, we are now on a serious hunt for a midwife.  I already have the appointment scheduled at CHOICE for 3/26, and I've left a message for Kathy Mitchell.  If any of you have additional recommendations/contact info, I'm all ears!